It was the summer of '78, Mark and Janet were staying in an apartment at Gordon College while figuring out where to move next, and one day when Janet came home from work Mark played this song for her. She was tired and impatient, and brushed it off as just another song he wrote, and probably went to bed. In any case, Mark liked it, and was happy with it as a song he could do in what he thought at that point would
keeps this site and its author alive.
The inspiration for this may have come from a sign that long sat on the desk at the Gordon College library, an anonymous quote that read, "People do not reject the Bible because it contradicts itself, but because it contradicts them." That, combined with other sources including C. S. Lewis, helped Mark understand that the decision to reject the gospel was often irrational, that people gave reasons but only as a way of justifying their decision. That is, they don't disbelieve for the reasons they give, but give the reasons to justify the fact that they have decided not to believe. (He addresses this some in his book Why I Believe, which hopefully will become available eventually.)
Because it is a solo, and by the very nature of the message wants to be the words of an individual, it was easy to incorporate first in Cardiac Output (and the lyrics are found there) and then into Collision, during the time before we found Brittany and it appeared Mark might be singing everything solo. The range is good for him, and not good for Sara or Jonathan, so it has remained his solo--which is fine with him, because he likes the song.
He considers it an example of a category of songs he has labeled "songs of doubt", songs which express the struggle to believe, the obstacles to faith, because he has been through the struggles of wondering whether Christianity is true, and knows how that feels. He came through them to the place of knowing, but finds that being able to relate to those who struggle, whether unwilling to commit to the gospel or uncertain whether what they embraced is true, helps them move toward assurance.